SNM127: Is Fear of Success The Reason You're Failing?

speaker 0: 0:00 this fear of success, the reason you're failing on today's episode. Today's episode is brought to you by ECM Rush started in 2008 with one mission. To make online competition fair and transparent, with equal opportunities for all. To find out how SCM Rush can help you compete with the big boys. Go to serve no master dot com Backslash ECM rush today. Are you tired of dealing with your boss? Do you feel underpaid and underappreciated?

If you want to make it online, fire your boss and start living your retirement dreams now then you've come to the right place. Welcome to serve no master podcast where you learn how to open new revenue streams and make money while you sleep. Presented live from a tropical island in the South Pacific by best selling author Jonathan Green. Now here's your host.

The fear of success is a fascinating phenomenon, and it's been a ghost in my life for a long time, and the fear of six that's kind of boils down to If something happens, will it change me? If I get my dream girlfriend, we'll start acting differently if I get good at talking to women will act differently. If I get comfortable with myself, Will I become a new person? Well, I hate that.

Knew me If I make a lot of money will like change and my friends will stop liking me and I'll become someone I don't like. There's this fear that we can change into someone that we won't like any more. Now, the truth is that no matter who you become, you like yourself. Dictators convince themselves they're doing the right thing that people under there, some neither help they're benevolent or they're the right thing, even though often they're monsters.

So we have an amazing capacity for self denial because we know about that. We often look at ourselves before we change and say, Oh, my gonna become like a monster if I achieve this different type of success now, fear of sickness manifest itself and many different ways. But it starts off with this fear that successful turning into someone that you right now doesn't like.

And when I was in college, I was obsessed was saying other people change, but I stayed the same that the things I like, the things I do, the things I say, the way I look would always stay the same. And of course, that last a few years. But of course, it didn't last a long time. You can't really do that very long, because when all of your friends disappear, you have to start over.

I started feeling like I would have to become the guy who's 28 but hanging out with high school seniors, the new seniors every single year because he never moves on or never grows up, and at first it's cool. But then against weirder, weirder, it's cool when the guys 21 could buy you beers. It's not cool when the guy's 45 could do your taxes. So even these ideas that we can avoid change. It's impossible.

The universe is defined by a sense of entropy, which is the natural desire of the universe to move towards chaos. This is why things always fall apart. You take an empty house, it looks amazing. You build a brand new house, no one touches it and rain the universe animal. Whether it will destroy it will eventually turn into nothing. That's entropy in action. That's the natural state of universe. Everything is constantly breaking down. We have to fight against that actively.

And if we don't fight against that, then things get worse. It's impossible for things to say the same, but we have these fears around success, and some of them become powerful. Sometimes you don't realize they're there, and it could start with little ideas where we associate bad thoughts and lip. You had those success. A lot of the we talked about this before. Of course, a lot of these mindsets that people have about money can limit us. So we say Oh, you know what?

With a lot of money, they're bad, and there's a lot of ways that you can say that they're jealous egomaniac. So they treat people poorly that they act like they're kings. That money changes you. My is inherently evil when you start to attach an ability or power to money, especially negative one that will affect how much money makes rest of your life. And that's just one part of the fear of success. And I wonder what other area that now?

Because we have talked about the money specific part before. But there's also other things I was recently talking to, someone about podcasting. You know, we talked to podcasting courts recently. I love talking about my podcast that left podcasting. It's a big part of my life. I have been rebuilding. If you've noticed I've been rebuilding the block. Wait. We start mixing in a lot more written posts as well as thes audio post, to really expand the content that create turning, moving from really exciting directions.

But I was talking to someone about podcasting that said, You know, I'd love to do it, but I don't really want to do television And I said What? We talked a little bit, and I discovered that person's fear was that they would get so six months from the podcast, they would have to start doing television shows as though, first of all, how often you see podcasters on TV.

Not very often, second of all, as though when you become successful in the area, you have to go on the news whether you want to or not, they will put you on against your will. Like this. Podcaster didn't want to do an interview, so we waited outside his house all night until we catch him on the mic walking from his front door does car. That doesn't happen for podcasters. That happens for politicians that you're caught with their hand in the till.

It's a war crime thing, not a small business thing. But this fear was there. And even if the 1st 2 possibilities were really even, if podcasters did appear on TV and even if they would hound you if you refuse to an episode, it takes at least a year to get to the level. So he's afraid about something that would never happen for two different reasons. And the never happening is also two years away.

That's a lot of stretch to be afraid of, something that still is never gonna happen and to use it as a justification for an action. But it's not that weird. I have talks like this. All the time will happen if I become best selling author. When people act like treat me differently. People think that you have one really well, big book, our book that does pretty well on Amazon, and suddenly people start treating you weird. You're going to the girls Short axe secure weirdo.

Oh my God, she's here. You go shopping at the groceries when they locked the door so you can shop without your fans attacking you. It takes an astonishing number of books sales for you to generate a level of celebrity where people were recognizing him. But I can tell you right now, man, Stephen King could walk right in front of my house on the beach that I probably wouldn't recognize him. You can be. I mean, how many authors can you identify?

I could tell you roughly what he looks like. I think he's got brown hair. I think he's from like New England. Yeah, I know he's from New England and he might have a beard. Man, that describes a 1,000,000,000 people. Do you know Jakey rally? Looks like you might if you're a super big Harry Potter person, I sure don't. I don't know what any of my favorite authors looked like. Not really. Yeah, they have that picture in the back of the book.

But come on, they use the same book for 40 years. Like put that other guy. That is the author. That does, like, clear and present danger. All those books You use the same picture for 30 years. You seem now did 30 years ago. Of course not. People pick one picture themselves. They love and ends up in the back of all the books. But we still create this idea that something will happen. Weird.

If I become a systems no author, then people treat me differently or that I can't do the things I'm used to doing or we have these creations and whatever they are, if they exist with you, knew it all. If you ignore them, they become more and more powerful, make you know what? I'm not going to think about it, and you just try to put it to the side. But its existence stays in your subconscious because it's not just a thought. It's a belief.

I believe that if this happens, it will change me. I believe that if I sell this many books will change me. I believe that if I moved to another country or if I get married, I'll become a totally different person that if I have kids and we have these moments of life that are producing again, Of course, I've complete checked having kids, changing a merry chase, her all that stuff change me for years.

Promise I would never get married, so make all these promises that will never change. We still d'oh! It's inevitable. But the fear of success, the fear that achieving the next level will all through your in a negative way that holds us back. So I want you to do today. I want you to have a really cool, honest conversation with yourself and say, Are there things I'm afraid of doing? Am I afraid of what would happen if I succeed?

Am I afraid that if I started making 10 times more money, my friends will treat me differently? And the truth is, they will. That's something outside your control. But guess what? Having 10 times more money is way better. It means dressed out about money every month and having a few friends you can commit straight with. And really your true friends, you're good friends will be with you along. The journey will support you along the way. You don't have to worry about that too much.

It's not you changing. Oftentimes, when you become financially successful, you'll and this happened to me. Try to help your friends, and then they're the ones who act weird. All my friends were like you should do all the work. You should give us money. Why would I just give you money? Work hard, too? I'll teach you what to do. I'll give you assignments, but you gotta be on the squad with me. Yeah, we're just as hard as I do with friends, man. It's very hard.

And that's true. The fear of success. It's about you changing. So it's not your fear that your friends will change. Turn against you. That's a different thing. And, yeah, that happens a little bit. But happens over time. It has happened all your friends, but will really happen. The fear that we really have is that you'll change and push your friends away. Which doesn't happen. That's not really money doesn't change people just like alcohol doesn't change people.

Okay, if someone's really kind of loud and mean when they're drunk, they're already thinking it. They just have. You know, they didn't let it out until a few drinks. So often times, it's simply personality accelerator. People who want to make the world a better place with its a small, mature, big money will do it. And this is a lesson that I've learned a long way.

You know, the people who say I can't pay you or I can't pay this person When it's a small bill, they're gonna do the same stuff when they're wealthy, they're gonna play the same games we often time to use our lack of wealth as a justification for poor or being bad. Find fiscally right. We say, Oh, I want you to do this for me, for free. But if I had a much money and pay you the truth is because I know people like this.

I know people who win a very wealthy they are Justus Bad eye. One time did work for the person who is the CEO of Dublin in the UK OK, the towing company of your car breaks down New column. They tell you it's Triple A in America. I tutor their kid and that the only people in the history of me being a tutor that ripped me off their house was huge. They're billionaires and they ripped me off for £65. Superwealthy still acted like garbage people.

You think the money turned them into garbage? Of course not. They were garbage before they became rich. They stole from someone in their twenties who was struggling to make enough money. Eat everyone, They're billionaires. The money did not turn them into monsters. Okay, money doesn't make people bad because there are plenty of people who are super wealthy who treat people very, very well. When it comes to my business and money coming in and out, the first money always goes to my staff.

I was reading a very good book by someone I'm working with about finances being a CFO and financial decisions companies make at some companies. I couldn't believe this payroll comes last. That is not how I see the people work for me. So whether you have one person to take $100 a month or thousands of people that cost your company $2 million a month, it doesn't make a difference. It's the way you see the world, so success doesn't change you. It simply magnifies your personality.

And that's important. Understand? Success often frees us and gives us the ability to give back more. When you get to the top of high, when you achieve great level of success, how about people is a lot easier, actually, when you're thinking about what will happen if you start making more money will happen. If your stresses go away, start thinking about how good will be released.

These fears and these ideas, these negative feelings about money, success, whatever areas you have and for every person is a little bit different. I can't give you a universal answer the one other way, And I want to really dial into this because this is something new today. You're obsessed. Manifest itself is when you look at something and you know you know it won't work. I've spent the last month putting together the best version of make money fast.

I can rebuild my entire Earth $1000 this month training. Try to make it way, way better and now it's amazing It was good before, but I really doubt it. And because I built it before through a series of block post that were kind of loose. And then I was teaching principles and kind of gave you the tools, but I didn't have really step by step, so I've taken the same material and just made it much more clear.

Step one, Step two, Step three and guess what someone e mailed me the other day from the new system which just been out for like a week and has already made a lot of money. Someone from Africa amazing I didn't even know I had fans after was awesome was really great. Email. Very specific. So I'm writing the three places your guidance really helped. Already made this much money. Amazing. First I got a letter African a long time that wasn't better. Prints. Who wanted Thio?

You have some help for me to unlock some money, so it's really wonderful to me. Any time someone e mails me and can talk about their journey a little bit, I find that very wonderful, very exciting. I love hearing that feedback. So I love when you guys email me and I do always reply and it was never emailed. Me knows that's true, but it's really great when someone implements. Unfortunately, 99% of people don't and we don't implement.

We start up saying I don't think it will work, but part of that, the reason we say that is that we don't want it to work because what if it does? What if it did work, especially? Is it so easy. The path I teach you very quickly within two or three months get you to five or $10,000 a month. Okay, it's that quick. If you can put in, especially when you could shift a full time, you can make really good money that matters.

You graduated high school. Not that stuff. Doesn't matter at all, because you can learn the skills you need along the way and all the grammar and spelling stuff family takes care of. Anyways, it's free. You have three piece of software to fill the gap.

If your spelling is that great, your grandma's, I think right, But we don't do it, because if fixing the problem is easy than the fact they haven't fixed it for so long as your critique of you and it becomes a personal eagle gets involved, and this is pretty common in a lot of areas with a lot of products they work on, especially a personal development of personal growth or dating relationship. The solution can be very short.

The solution to most dating problems can be explained in a paragraph. Okay, same thing for fitness. Hey, you're overweight. Here's the solution. Eat less exercise every day. Don't eat anything that's bad for you only drink water boom, perfect diet. Your life just changed now that you know that in three sentences, would you pay $300 for that product? Of course not. But what if I wrapped inside of a bunch of cool names?

If my diet a trendy name like the Transformers diet, the transformative diet, the cybernetic diet, given a futuristic name and given agent named the Caveman Diet? Don't pretend people don't want advice, and the call came in Dykes. It would sell like crazy. All we have to do is add a little bit of sizzle to the stake. People don't want to buy the solution they wanted by all the excitement around it.

So if we surround it with a bunch of other stuff, we turn it into a 200 page book. It feels more valuable revalue stuff, products training, often based on the size of the training rather than the solution. Now I have a friend who's very successful, and he would rather pay for one page, he says. Hey, you know what? Just give me one prize. One solution, Okay, That's what he likes So he likes one page. You pay for it. Actually think about it.

What would be more valuable to 100 page convoluted explanation? You have to spend a month reading or a one page diagram with series of steps. You just go through and you have the result you want. But as humans, we don't always want that. We want more complicated stuff, because if it's an easy solution, it's a critique of our ego. It means I couldn't find an easy solution. I thought we were women, but a lot of men dating in the one.

Everything I've taught him, dating can be boiled down to a single sentence. Dating is a skill that you can get better at. If you believe that one sentence you don't need to buy a dating product me forever. It means that you can improve. See, I grew up in most must grow up thinking whether you're good or bad, my dad is gonna dating. I about dating must skip a generation we have. That was the thought I had when I was younger.

I thought I could never get better talking to women. I could never have healthy relationships. I could never have a long term mission, marriage or kids. I never have any things that have now. I thought I would die alone in my bloodline, would die off with me and my last name would disappear from the universe because of this one simple belief to everything else. All techniques, learning right things to say, understand how to communicate with people.

All that doesn't matter because all that can be self taught once you realize, Hey, I can get better at this assumes you realize it's a skill, not a talent. You can get better, and that's a lot of what we teacher. It's our investors and a lot of things that we thought were talents were actually skills so you could get better writing. Oh, you better always different things. I can start a podcast. As a matter of my voice sounds where people will like it.

That little piece of knowledge is all you really need, because then you can say, Oh, each time I talked to some what I could pay attention to, what happens, I can test my results and I can alter my behaviour. Most people, when they go to a bar at 18 they say the exact same thing 20 years. And when they're 40 however much they talk to people. And of course, most people have two or three conversations denied at most.

But they will see the same thing every time to see a woman they like. They say the same thing and women do the same thing. Women fall into the same patterns, you know, if you could boil down dating for women sat is easy. Just it takes more than one sentence, but the best way to pull it out This is say, you're never gonna change him. My best advice to take all my dating vice women and women have sold gosh hundreds of thousands of books.

Okay, way outside. My books from my ex friend did well, but my books never really realized you wanted well, down in all of one thing Hey, instead of didn't die and trying to turn the guy you guys wanna date just from the guy that started, we want That's it. That's the biggest piece of wisdom. But no one would pay $100 for that little pay a dollar for that, so we have to wrap it out. Other things because the eagle gets involved.

So if you disconnect your ego and say you know what? I don't care if I haven't known something for a long time. I don't care who makes you feel. But I would just rather have the solution. Suddenly you could become successful again. See, we're afraid this is a variation of fear of success. We're afraid that success will demonstrate We should have been successful earlier. So success now becomes a critique of the previous years of my life. Hey, you know what?

If I found the right fitness program and I had a six pack in two months But I regret that I wasn't ripped for the last 20 years A little bit, but I'd just be glad I ripped out. Those are two different things. We have to separate those and we all have it. Okay? I have to consciously think about you know what? I would be so happy to have it now would be so happy to be super cut now that I could let go.

The fact that it to be too long to get here, whether you're 2030 60 70 doesn't matter. It's never too late to achieve success. And don't let success become a critique off past behavior. It's not your fault. You lacked the knowledge before. So if you're sitting there and I know I have blisters different into the spectrum, okay, I have listeners that Aeryn seven figures and Lister's interning $7. I totally understand that I've been both ends of the spectrum. I was younger. I worked in toys arrest.

I know what it's like. Okay, I almost took a big position, big position, working a target when I was younger before I ended up working the phones for a large computer company selling stuff over the phones. So I've been at every end of the spectrum I've been there were your just grinding at a job you hate. I know what that's like. That's what I want to show you, how to get out of there and whether at the top of the bottom, this principle remains the same.

If you take action, you'll cheap success. I mean, if you're right now making less than $15 now you're listening to a podcast. There's no reason for you to be doing that. Still, you could be up to $100 an hour in the next six weeks, you take action, whatever's holding you back, whether it's fear of success or doubt. Man, are you kidding me? Five times your income in six weeks and you have to pay me anything. This is not a course I sell.

This is my give away. So you could jump started, then afford One, of course, is I want you to make money first. So think about what's holding you back. Think about why you don't take action when you say, Oh, I don't think it works. Or would it work for me? What do you really say? And I want you to think about Is that really rooted in reality? Or is rooted in a fear of success?

Fear that somehow you're different or that success will be different for you, or that you become a different person. All of those things gotta let go because the fear of success could destroy you. And when you let go of that fear, I'm unstoppable and you can achieve amazing things in your life. Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Serve No, Master.

Make sure you subscribe, so you never miss another episode, we'll be back tomorrow with more tips and tactics on how to escape that rat race. Head over to serve no master dot com forward slash podcasts Now for your chance to win a free copy of Jonathan's bestseller Serve No master. All you have to do is leave a five star review of this podcast. See you tomorrow. Thank you for Listen to this episode of the serve. No master podcast.

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