SNM122: Stop Letting Your Stuff Own You

speaker 0: 0:00 Stop letting your stuff own you. Find out how on today's episode today's episode is brought to you by Social Pilot, the social media and marketing tool for bloggers and small businesses. Join over 20,000 social media pros at serve. No master dot com Backslash social pilot today Are you tired of dealing with your boss? Do you feel underpaid and underappreciated? If you want to make it online, fire your boss and start living your retirement dreams now then you've come to the right place.

Welcome to serve no master podcast where you learn how to open new revenue streams and make money while you sleep. Presented live from a tropical island in the South Pacific by best selling author Jonathan Green. Now here's your host. The impetus for today's episode It come from a couple of different places.

I read a block post about five or six years ago up minimalism, and I found it fascinating, and I really wanted to learn to live them in most lifestyle, and I find it interesting and some of the questions you pose or things that I thought about for a long time now, unfortunately, that block has gone in totally different directions. I can't put you to it because that person's matured into another direction. Now he writes about other stuff, which is fine.

We all grow and mature and join them. I blogged. Posting content of these podcasts will change over time, but there's a simple way to measure who's really in control in your life, and that is this. Have you made a decision based on stuff? Have you made a decision where you can't do something because of things you want? Oh, I can't go because of this now for some people, and this is gonna be a little bit edgy. It's a pet.

I know a lot of people who have pretty terrible lives because of their pets have friends. Animal hoarder. His life is terrible. House smells horrible. His kid's sick all the time and he has dozens of pets way too much. This isn't about that. I know people who have one dog, and that dog means they can't do what they want to do any more, and you're stuck now.

If you love the dog of the love love that loves you back, at least you're getting something back at least a dog's alive, and that's something to think about. Oh, I really love to travel, but I can't because of my dog. Your dog becomes a limitation. And this is something that I had to think that this is a reason that I didn't own a dog in my late twenties.

I knew from when I was 29 when I lost my job university that I wanted to travel full time. I wanted to build a business of allowing me to do what I do now, and I knew the docks live forever. So I said, I can't have a doctorate now. We love dogs because a lot of the situation right, they've given up for adoption, giving a family something. It's gonna become a problem. I will be able to travel, take care of my dog.

So for a long time you don't have a dog. Now I have a dog now have a wonderful golden retriever, great swimmer. I love hanging out with him. Is there a blast? Biggest argument around his monster. I said small dogs before, but this guy's a real monster, but I knew that if I had this dog five years ago that my life would be if I if I had a dog when I was 30 I wouldn't be married right now.

And it would have two kids right now because I wouldn't be able to travel would have become a limitation. But people do the same thing for stuff. I can't travel. My house is so much stuff in it, or I can't move to which this and some of the things. It's because we have sentimental value, like diplomas on the wall, picture, my family, all these things and they begin to have power over us and they control our decisions. How about this?

You have something you haven't used a long time, but you continue to invest money keeping it there, and it becomes sending good money after bad. And we all have little things like that. Do any of that extra storage room are using effectively Other other ways to use your space? If you got rid of your stuff, you do move into a smaller, cheaper apartment, have a little more breathing room. Some of us work extra hours to pay for a larger off bowed to provide room for stuff.

Never room for another person. You have to have that second bedroom sets filled with our stuff. So it comes from initially sentimental value. No sentimental value means it has no value. Sentimental value means it means something to me. But it doesn't mean anything to someone else. So means are only value is imaginary Now. I have things of sentimental value for me, but I know that they're imagine, because they only come from within my mind.

There's something that I create from within my mind, not something from reality. If I was just show you five items on the desk, five different rings and one was my parent's wedding ring and the other four I've never seen before. You wouldn't be able to guess which has value to me. You wouldn't know the guess which ones I could recognize which one they can't. Therefore, it's a creation of my mind, just like emotions or thoughts. It comes from within my mind.

The value isn't really value doesn't exist in the real world. Real value means I can sell it for what I think it's worth. Sentimental value means it's worth more than what I think. It's worse when I want to sell it. I charge a premium to cover the cost of the real value and my imaginary feelings. My feelings are expensive. This is why you watch those shows where people find something in our house and have to sell it or pawn it.

And there was shocked by how low it's worth. That's life. That's just the way it goes. And we have things in our life that have a great deal of sentimental value. But if you think about it, I really don't. What if I need it? Is this mindset what? I don't need it now, but I might someday. What if I want to look at these pictures of my kids in 20 years? Oh, that's a tough one. Didn't I touched a nerve? I'm someone's got nine kids.

I don't take a lot of pictures of my kids. When I was younger in my early twenties, even in my mid twenties, I took what would the pictures of everything is going around? It was a picture guy. Now I'm not. I'd rather watch my kids and take pictures and don't get me wrong. My wife takes a lot of pictures and we do take some pictures, but I never looked at it again. No prison take pictures is to send the members of my family.

I don't see myself being someone who is 60 70 80 looking pictures of their child in a photo album. But, hey, guess what? Doesn't matter, because now you think digital photos, they don't take up space keeping on the cloud. So no longer a physical thing. So this debate is moot. But we end up with all this stuff that we say has sentimental value means something to me, and this is stage one of hoarding recorders. C. One of two things.

Borders either say it's important to me or I might need it someday. Those the two reasons. People who are. If you watch those shows, read those books. That's what they say. Animal hoarders, They say. I'm saving the animal. It's a different thing. Okay, I don't talk about my crazy friend of all the cats. That's another topic. But the idea that we keep something in preparation for a rainy day that is so unlikely to happen that's when you start moving closer and closer to craziness or insanity.

Now there are certain valuable things for emergencies, which are worth having having a first aid kit. Having a fire stinks. You're having a go bag. If you're a believer in conspiracy theories, fine. Those are all things that are first serious emergency. But do you need an extra 1000 hangers in case or the hangar emergency? Do you need a broken hockey stick in case someone needs a broken hockey stick? That's the difference, and that's where again it comes into. Where's the value in this?

And it's hard for people to assess value when they have too much sentimental mindset and not a practical minds. That's where you turn into hoarding. It's the ratio of reality of sentimentality, but your stuff start to take ownership of U I can't move because of this couch. I can't sell the couch because I take a loss. I bought this couch for $2000 last year on himself for $800. I can't move. I can't go to Hawaii anymore.

Now that sounds crazy, unless it's happened to you, and that's a real conversation I've had with multiple people. Oh, I can't travel. I'd have to sell my car and take a loss. We are afraid of the fear of loss. The fear of loss is so powerful, and this is why people lose why they have seen us now. My wife grew up so poor that she's never encountered a consume where she's been outside of one.

Okay, she's walked past one, which has never been inside one so originally talking about. And I have a very specific approach to casinos, and I have some personal rules about gambling I never gamble against someone was a nicer house than me. That's my first rule of gambling. If you go into a casino, there's a reason they're so nice inside. They're so big. Casinos cost a $1,000,000,000 in America Las Vegas Strip casino to build one of those is like a $1,000,000,000.

That's a lot of money for one building. They got lights, technology, all those computers everywhere and thousands or tens of thousands. Employees crew P, A's and security guards and lifeguards and everything between always, Restaurant sells nice stuff, and they give you free. Booze is not good booze, but they give you free booze. People go, Oh, no, Christina, start playing blackjack to go while there give me free booze and, well, they're trying to mess with your decision making skills.

But the reason people lose so much money casinos is the fear of loss. When someone starts losing money, that is when they're betting gets dumped. Whatever we move into an area of variants in this or math, noting the side will reveal itself a little bit. That's what we start to make risk your decisions. For example, let's talk about me because I do gamble a little bit. I've gambled in my life lesson 10 times in a casino five or six times on.

We play one game, and that game is craps. And that's because you're playing gets other people the odds of you winning craps around 49%. Other games it's closer to 40% So the odds are against you. But the closest it can be to 50 50 closest you can almost you could almost win. You can't if you play craps for entire life against a casino, you'll eventually lose everything. Overtime. Your results always turns into zero.

That's why they do everything they can to get you to play for as long as they can. But I played very conservatively. I don't bet up or down. I bet the minimum on every single roll. I never played by myself. I don't enjoy play myself. I usually go with other people, joined better partners of business partners. That's only to make ample. And I go find Let's play craps cause it's a social game and usually two or $3 a roll. I've never lost my crops.

I'm very cautious. Better. But what happens is when you start to win, you must have happened to me. There's a lot of these vets in the middle there, like one out of 64 1 in 10,000 chance of happening, and you start to throw a dollar on each one of those when I'm up. But I've doubled my money. I start throwing get a little loose like a already won, and I'll start throwing a dollar here and there on the risk your bets.

So you become a little bit risky when you started winning. But when people start to lose, they start to go crazy and make very illogical poor decisions. When people lose, they double they go. Hey, I just lost $10 If Ivette 20 and when the next one I went back I win back my money, they're no longer trying to get toe win. They're trying to get back to zero people, trying to get back to zero, act very differently if you've ever gambled and probably happened Exactly.

I'm talking about our behavior changes when we're dealing with fear of life. I've lost and I need to recover my loss if I give you $100 bill. And I said, Hey, get back 90. I changed my mind. You're like, Man, I hate you. But if I just hand you 10 bucks ago Wow, Thanks. It's better to give a small amount than to give a large around taking way. You know, your end results of saying neither case you have 10 new dollars, your pocket experience.

It is very different. This fear of loss. It's why we hold on to things that are worthless while we hold on the port investments while we stay in jobs we shouldn't do while we spend more money, good money after bad, because we keep waiting for to pay off, and part of this is also the desire to be consistent. We are completely controlled by our need to be consistent and This is something that is very, very, very easy to manipulate.

I know this because I've been a long time doing it. When I was younger 10 years ago, I used to teach dating secrets. I used to teach men and women, had a date really well. And the big secret that I invented. Okay, I'm gonna reveal too right now, which changed lives, led the marriages and change the course of many people's destinies is a single sentence. I developed something so powerful it's based on this concept.

Every time I walk upto ah woman in a bar or a woman environment, I want to talk to a new woman. I would say, Wow, every London so friendly that one sentence changed every interaction. Here's why the person always responds. What are you talking about? Most people here are friendly, and I then say, Well, aren't you friendly the moment someone says yes to that they have to be friendly. They've no trapped themselves as crazy as it sounds.

All this doesn't give you more time in the field. Now, if you're horrible, it's we'll make up for it. But if normally someone talk to you for five minutes before walking away. Something will stay for 10 or 12 just because you've said this one sentence. Now, if you're really listening closely, this is something you can use. A networking in business. You could walk up to someone and one of you is gonna do it to me. I know it is so effective.

Walk into someone in a conference who's like the speaker and like, Wow, everyone here is so giving. And the guy, though really well, aren't you giving lots of people all of your time and really helping people and they go, Oh, yeah, I guess I am. Because you're giving them a comet. You're trapping them with a common. They will now listen to more of your dumb questions. Or if they're good questions, always in your questions too. Can I'm sure someone's gonna miss me next month.

It works, even knowing what it is. If you do it to me, it will work on me. It works on everyone. Do you get someone to say there's something I've been act like it and it works in the other direction to There was this TV show that it failed its one of many TV shows where they never told you what the secret is. Think it was called, not the event made was called.

The event is what the show is, where you're waiting to find out about this time. Travel thing happened at the end, then it got canceled but had this great scene with this fat guy with a cigar. And he's like interrogating someone or something and he starts talking and I wish I remember everything says I'm sorry that I remember it perfectly, but it's really the actor and seen were really well done. I remember great scenes. You smoking a cigar goes.

I smoke cigars because I'm a villain because anyone who's anyone who smokes cigars in movies is a villain is pretty accurate, actually, right. It's pretty older thing. Not as much now, but a lot of movies little older. You go see that the moment he says he's ability and then act like it was. Just finds behavior. Hey, I'm a bad guy and real life people do the same thing. People. Oh, I'm this, and once you say it, you then act like it. So we have.

This is our to be consistent. That's when I'm circling back to. And so we say I bought this. Whatever it ISS about this exercise machine. If I sell, it means I'm giving up. Who hasn't done that? Who doesn't have excellent machine there? Half they haven't used the average. Like the time people use Nexis machine that they buy from infomercial is six months. And let's be honest, those people are lying. It's probably two months. How many of you or your parents bought a NordicTrack mine? Sure did.

My dad actually used it for a really long time, but my mom quit after a few months. So my dad was the outline he doesn't use anymore. Say that your treadmill now actually switched to just a treadmill, and he does run every day. My dad's kind of an exception is much better exerciser than me, but as a much more athletic guy than me, He was all the fresh, a baseball player, amazing athlete. I'm hoping that my son will be that, too.

That skips a generation but is very consistent. He's an outlier, so most of us we buy something even though we never use it, have no value in it. We stay within, you said. Why don't I want to get rid of? It's because we don't wanna admit that we made a poor decision the past. We don't want to admit that. Way we describe yourself was wrong. I'm a martial arts guy. I'm a snowboarding guy. I'm a horse riding guy.

We try these hobbies, we buy this stuff when we start to feel consistent. That were as we hate it. We don't want to sell. The stuff will be admitting defeat. Is selling that couch really admitting defeat? Well, this is the emotional reasons why won't give up the stuff that we don't need. So let's ask a few questions. When was the last time you wore it? Look at your clothes right now. How much of your stuff is something You have one last six months Now.

This is a test I've used for a long time, and unfortunately, it has caused me throw away some stuff I need because they live on the beach. Just happen to me. When I was in Thailand, I needed a pair of pants and a pair of shoes like nice shoes. Don't have any of those because where I live, I never need those. But I traveled twice a year, so I do need them when I travel.

So now I have a pair of pants and a pair of shoes. I don't even bring them with me when I go to America next month, but most your stuff you can look at. I remember looking in my drawers on my mid twenties, and I had clothes that I hadn't worn since I was 14. I do not wear clothes with words on them anymore. I have one shirt who catch me wearing it.

I still have one shirt that has, like, designs and stuff on it, the rest of my shirts or flat color. In fact, I'm wearing one Right now. It's light blue. I have bought this shirt in, I think, 20 colors 10 or 15 20 colors. I've gone back and bought more more a few times. In fact, I'm going back to where I bought these shirts. In a couple of weeks, I'm away to America that they have more. I'm gonna buy more, have the exact same shirt.

The shirt is like $3.50 or something. The price changes where I live, and because of exchange rates, in the exactly sure it's always under $5 have about 20 of these. It's all we need. It's a simple salt kosher, and sometimes you'll see they think of $100 shirt. But it's not that simple. Maybe that Logan, I don't know. It's a simple, be next shirt that fits on my frame and comes and lots of lots of Jonty colors, so I could wear a different color every day.

So it looks like lots and lots of shirts, but I don't It's one shirt, many colors, and this is how I've lived my life before. When I was on the dating scene, I have about the exact same shirt, which, unfortunately, they canceled, but about the exact same shirt and express and again, a dozen callers. I had this great shirt, the mark to the cancel it because they stop making clothes for fat guys, and they switched on Lee making skinny fit clothing.

And so the shirt that I love probably the best shirt designed the last 20 years they canceled and, boy boy, was I disappointed. What a waste. Hey, when the company makes a great product, they cancel it. What can you do When I was a kid, I wore the same pair of shoes for 10 years. I kept buying shoes, looked exactly the same until they canceled. Making that look. I don't remember their Nikes, the Reeboks or something like that.

But I would always have the same looking shoe. So I am someone like certain areas of consistency. I'm revealing some things about myself there a little bit weird so you can feel more comfortable. Many things about you that are weird. How many things do you have that you'll never wear again? How about this? One is my skinny jeans when I get skinny beyond those we have all this stuff we don't use that we're hoping someday to bill to use again.

How many people have camping equipment have camped in five years? That's a tough one. I don't want my tendons have been camped in a long time, but I like knowing a habit there, just in case I needed Actually do like 10 stuff, but not going to tell my kids on my gosh too hard by 10 plus my tents of one man small tent or of a festival by yourself tent. But these things that you can think about. How about this isn't for you or someone else?

Are you holding on to something for someone else or in the hopes that someday someone will need it? That's a sign you're getting a little further up that hoarding trail. Oh, this is just in case. Someday my kids need it. Now there's certain things that fit in that category. In its correct two months ago, I needed my birth certificate in order to get married. Here I go, my mercy of it. I've never seen that. My mom so had in her safe. Amazing.

She sent it to you how to get the original two very nervous. Transporting my original birth sitting around the world risky I got here and delivery from one friend to another friend or no friend handed to me. These things happen that something. It's okay to keep cause it's not sentiment divide. That's a real value. Something you probably will need it. Court documents prove life those things those things matter. So security cards, driver's license. Those aren't Harding. Okay.

Giving identity documents is not hoard it, but do you really need? How about this one? A picture of your diploma. I recently, in fact, just was looking for mine a month ago because I wanted to post a picture of it. To show you guys is the first time I thought about it. 10 years, eight years, whatever graduate and elsewhere. And I thought it would be cool to have a picture of it.

And now I already have a picture of it somewhere in my other computer I've done take. I have scanned it before, but I have no idea where the physical thing in this could be. My mom's house could be. Could be my bookkeepers. I don't know. But what? There's no value in it. You don't have to have the actual pace of paper to show people sometimes you d'oh man, to make you show.

If you want to get a discount on a car, that's about the only time you need it. Now it is that you can show a picture. You have digital proof, but these these things that I look at percent of value sometimes it's guitars and things like that. When I moved away, I eventually sold everything because keeping stuff in the store. June, if you have a storage unit. You're a sucker because you're paying money for your stopped up somewhere to live and you don't even live there.

You won't get to enjoy it. Now if you put stuff in the storage unit because of between houses for two weeks, that spy, that's what a storage units for. But I know people. They put a car in a storage unit for 10 years and they couldn't make the payments.

They spent $10,000 on a car that's worth $4000 I lost the car anyways, when you're looking at your stuff and this one is episodes on referencing a lot of movies, there's this scene in the movie heat, which people like the movie heat. They're crazy. It's not that good. This, like that, has the Niro Pacino the same time. Whatever the only part of the movies to talk, so you is. You have to be with Walkway 30 seconds.

When your criminal, especially a super criminal, you have to look around a room and go. I could be out of here in 30 seconds to talk about not having sentimental value when you live that life where you have to go to escape. There are plenty. People were in jail because of sentimental value. They couldn't let go of something that took too long to leave. Now, I most people I couldn't leave my house and 30 seconds.

But if I look around my house and I say what has value to me, if the house is on fire, what would I grab? You know the kids, of course. But of my stuff, the only thing that I would want to grab me my passport, you know, it's not too hard to get anyone. I am who I say I am. My laptop were released, my hard drive with backup stuff.

Those are the three things I think about, and all three of them wouldn't be too hard to replace. Maybe my phone. So I have my phone number so I could call for help. Like I need to call my parents or something and say, Hey, everything's burned. I can't access my bank account for a few days. Yeah, that's probably it was the only things. So I have very limited cinnamon value, even though I have less stuff in the house.

I got admit man kids and live somewhere for a while. We've got a bunch of surfboards and this and that. It's measuring how important things are to you for some people will keep going back to the house to grab stuff, and they eventually die. There's a lot of people die in fires, rescuing stuff. Many, many cat. Guess what? There's a fire. My dogs in the house got himself out. Maybe. Think I'm a monster, but I gotta raise my kids. I'm saving the kids.

The dog's got to save himself. That's just me. If a cat sees in the house is on fire, guests want. That's Darwin getting involved. Maybe I'm a little bit edgy, but that's how I feel. Your animal. You save herself your goldfish. Fine. Grab the goldfish. Just guess what? Goldfish down of legs. Fine. I get that. But you're an animal. Has ability to leave. Just leave. Then it becomes a choice. But I want you to think about your stuff and think about Is it controlling it?

Is it affecting your decisions? Have you put money into things? Are you spending good money after bad? Because you're afraid of loss? Because you have to be consistent because you don't want admit, but you're not what you once were. These things hold us back, and these things I went to for a very long time. I've owned lots of things that I liked owning. I like how it feels to own cool stuff. I'll admit that right now I am used to own a lot of books.

I love owning lots of books because it made me look smart. My books are my candle. In fact, I read books. I don't own very many at all. I don't even on the books at my Kindle. So we go through changes in life, and this is what I went through that allowed me to move here. We serve no masters about, Ah, lot of things. It's about making money, building a business sense about the ability to move to a tropical island.

And part of that is leaving the stuff behind that you don't need what I was thinking about moving to, why, a couple years ago, three or four years ago, I looked at the cost of putting all of your craft into a shipping container and shipping in Hawaii, mainly because buying card wise, crazy, more expensive by the mainland. Sometimes it's actually cheaper to ship your car over. I wanted to send a boat full of crap when Alex, you have to do that. But you're right of everything.

I'm a known car. I own a small scooter, small mo, but I haven't driven it months. Anyone else drives it. It's really for them to take my daughter's school. For them to go to grocery store, for my wife and the nannies to do what they need to do. I don't have anywhere I need to go. Don't go anywhere. I go on foot or go by boat. That's my life. So these things that we think me turns out we don't need him. Hopefully, today is inspired.

You thought about the things in your house and things in your life, and maybe you've seen some amazing opportunities. If you have it, love to hear about in the comments below leaving comments on my block is your way of Show me love and give me value comment on the block very, very valuable. To me, they mean a lot.

I read them all and I love looking at who's taking care of me, who's doing those things for me, it's one of those great ways to get on my radar, someone asking about how to get on my radar. That's a great way to do. It means a lot to me. Think about who's in control of your life. You were your stuff. And if it's not you, it's time to make a change. Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Serve No Master.

Make sure you subscribe, so you never miss another episode. We'll be back tomorrow with more tips and tactics on how to escape that rat race. Head over to serve no master dot com forward slash podcasts Now for your chance to win a free copy of Jonathan's bestseller Serve No master. All you have to do is leave a five star review of this podcast. See you tomorrow. Thank you for listening to serve no master podcast.

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